Bad News Boy and the Great Big Secret

I have been starting and deleting this entry all day. I got to work on time today, which was a miracle considering the fact that I stayed at Bad News Boy's house last night and was barely able to hold on to him due to fatigue during my Motorcycle Ride of Shame this morning. Moreover, I'm dressed fairly well, considering the effort it took to shower today. I am a triumph of the human will.

B.N.B. had a call from his ex at 4 in the morning a while ago, in which she began to list off the names of women whose telephone numbers he had stored in his cell phone which she had apparently surreptitiously checked. He called me the next day to warn me that she may call me and somehow trick me into admitting that I was "involved" with him. Trick nothing. Had she called, I would have said "Yeah, I'm fuckin him. And? AND? You got SOMETHIN TO SAY?!" Well, no, I probably wouldn't have, but it's nice to dream, eh? The point of that all is that he very strongly reiterated the fact that he is not interested in going out with her again. No more "I don't THINK so."

So, that's what I'm clinging to right now. This one, small, semantic bone that he threw me. Why does it matter at all? Because the Great Big Secret is that I am terrified of how much this Bad News means to me. So, I'll cling to whatever I can and hold on despite the fatigue. I am a triumph of the human will.