Maintain radio silence
S.B. Thursday is a nice guy. Really nice. Karaoke Joe is pretty nice, too. They both took me on perfectly lovely dates and paid me perfectly good compliments. In fact, S.B. Thursday actually sought me out the day after our first date to say "I forgot to tell you how lovely you looked last night." That's pretty exceptional attention. The horrible part is, I don't think I like either of them enough to continue dating them. And why is this? New Orleans Boy.
We had an unusually emotional talk last night; about all of my dithering and bad communication regarding New York, about my terrible relationship track record, about everything... Finally, after a lot of back and forth emotional see-sawing, I said "How do you feel about me?" New Orleans Boy has a way of overtalking his points, so his answer was "Well, I like you. I have deep feelings for you and I don't think that's wrong or bad. And it's, you know, surprising to me that I would find someone that I feel such...deep feelings about. You know, in such a short amount of time. I liked you -- very much, you see -- in a short period of time. And the feelings I have are very deep. And I like you. With deep feelings." Then he asked me how I felt about him and there it was...I could either pull the trigger on the "L" word or mimic his repetative style (which, everyone knows, is born out of fear and vulnerability). Long pause. Long pause in which it was possible to tell that we were both holding our breath. It seemed like the whole world was afraid to exhale and miss what was about to happen. Somewhere in Antarctica, a poor Naval ensign in charge of the radio communications at the base there picked up my errant cell phone signal and listened, his mouth agape. "What will she say?" the ensign likely thought, trying to warm his fingers on his thirteenth cup of hot cocoa as the frigid air stealthily crept in through the cracks in the corrugated aluminum radio building. "What on EARTH will she say?" What I said was "It's not something I want to say over the phone." Genius. I said "I love you" without saying "I love you."
So, he's coming into town at 8 tomorrow morning and we'll see what's what. This could be the beginning of a new life, or just another random mistake in my old one. Either way, I'm still holding my breath.
We had an unusually emotional talk last night; about all of my dithering and bad communication regarding New York, about my terrible relationship track record, about everything... Finally, after a lot of back and forth emotional see-sawing, I said "How do you feel about me?" New Orleans Boy has a way of overtalking his points, so his answer was "Well, I like you. I have deep feelings for you and I don't think that's wrong or bad. And it's, you know, surprising to me that I would find someone that I feel such...deep feelings about. You know, in such a short amount of time. I liked you -- very much, you see -- in a short period of time. And the feelings I have are very deep. And I like you. With deep feelings." Then he asked me how I felt about him and there it was...I could either pull the trigger on the "L" word or mimic his repetative style (which, everyone knows, is born out of fear and vulnerability). Long pause. Long pause in which it was possible to tell that we were both holding our breath. It seemed like the whole world was afraid to exhale and miss what was about to happen. Somewhere in Antarctica, a poor Naval ensign in charge of the radio communications at the base there picked up my errant cell phone signal and listened, his mouth agape. "What will she say?" the ensign likely thought, trying to warm his fingers on his thirteenth cup of hot cocoa as the frigid air stealthily crept in through the cracks in the corrugated aluminum radio building. "What on EARTH will she say?" What I said was "It's not something I want to say over the phone." Genius. I said "I love you" without saying "I love you."
So, he's coming into town at 8 tomorrow morning and we'll see what's what. This could be the beginning of a new life, or just another random mistake in my old one. Either way, I'm still holding my breath.
posted by Unknown at 3:47 PM
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